Notes From an Orchid Growers Sidekick...

What happens when your spouse happens to be an Orchid grower? An innocent question you would think, no.

Let me play you a scenario: I hear a loud scream demanding my immediate presence in the greenroom; at 11pm. Fearing the worst I hurry down in haste, various scenarios going through my head, is she hurt? Did something fall on her? Is there an intruder (or worse a bug of some unknown alien origin)

No.

I see her visibly excited, a huge smile on her face, pointing excitedly to the humidifier cage. I admit I have never seen her this happy even after the birth of any of our children.

She is hardly able to speak, or if she was speaking, it was in some alien tongue, but her dancing hands and pointed finger was indicative of something happening inside the humidifier.

To kill all the suspense, I’d tell you: A Dracula orchid has a shoot extending from the side of the pot with a potential bud on its end. That was it.

I admit it was a relief after imagining all the dire circumstances that I could have thought of.

Being a sidekick is by no means an easy and stress-free full-time occupation, it is as if orchids and their blooms have a profound effect upon her mood which eventually transmits to my world of peaceful electronics.

A loose orchid roof mount can become a class 3 emergency requiring the deployment of no less the National Guard if not Delta Force or Seal Team Six.

I recall the harrowing incident of discovering a live lizard in plants coming in from Hawaii, I’m sure the lizard was equally surprised ending up in Wisconsin and seeing a frenzied lady excitedly jumping up and down.

Oh and then the smell of garlic permeating the house and me innocently thinking of some good food and then discovering that it is a formula for fertilizing orchids.

I do admit it brings me joy when I get to photograph beautiful blooms, but that is where my enthusiasm ends.

Will keep you updated!

N. Khan